Couples counseling might feel intimidating, but I will work hard to make it a positive experience for you so your relationship can become a safe haven rather than a source of stress. Whether you are dating, newly married, or many years into your marriage, I will work to help you develop a more secure connection with your partner.
I work with couples who struggle with high conflict, couples who feel distant and lack intimacy, and couples who generally like their relationship but want it to be even better. I have experience helping couples heal from infidelity, connect despite high-stress careers, and learn how to support one another when there is a history of trauma. Major life transitions and times of loss are also good times to seek out couples counseling. Even positive events, such as a new baby or a job promotion, can create stress, and if each partner has a different way of coping, the couple can become disconnected.
Couples counseling is also appropriate for partners considering divorce but who are genuinely willing to work on the relationship before making this decision. In these situations, individual therapy is likely the better fit until the above issues are resolved. Most likely, the form of couples counseling I do is different from what you have done before. Many counselors focus on the symptoms of a weak relationship, not the causes. However, couples who are in a lot of distress or feel deeply disconnected are unlikely to succeed in any of these activities, and this lack of success may make the partners feel even more hopeless about their relationship.
I am a firm believer that most of us have the communication skills we need to succeed in relationships, but we may not use them because powerful emotional responses take over when we feel at odds with our significant other. I also believe conflict is not the enemy; it is the way we handle conflict that can harm the relationship.
I help couples identify their problem patterns, understand why the patterns continue, and become aware of their emotional responses that trigger and get triggered by these patterns. Through this, couples are able to choose new ways of responding to each other. I do a free 20 min.
